The Andy Griffith Show, with special guest star, Spider-Man!

OK, I can show you the posts where these ideas criss-crossed, but hear this out:
So, wait, this started, how?
This began, and I'll confirm who the fan is if he likes and be sure to show him this (hi, Mark Engblom), with a comparison between Aunt May's wheatcakes and probably, Aunt Bea's pancakes. We have great fun on the Marvel Comics 1961-1986 group and its affiliate decades and pages; this began as one of those things. Suddenly, as I imagined Spider-Man in Mayberry, I realized it's exactly the sort of thing that will draw eyes even if it is declared 'done awfully' in some vernacular. It is just too cool and funny and sweet an idea not to at least become a horrible voice drama (a radio show, as I might say). But if you could shoot this live action, with a few old vehicles, the woods, a couple of good exteriors, and lower-fy the budget as a point of aesthetics, Spider-Man- and Aunt May- are strong enough as characters, flexibly comic and dramatic like The Andy Griffith Show (produced in essentially the same years as the original Spider-Man comics), to fit into their 'show' world. If I believe Reggie Hudlin, he lives nearly where Opie and Paw walked to their fishing hole together in the opening theme! I'd be so lucky to have someone on the spot. I credit him with putting into words an idea I talked about a couple times with the Marc Kane, too, but in the 'as a bad guy to face Spider-Man' sort of entertainment supposition, OK?
First, I'll say I did speak aloud the idea maybe there's only the pettiest of crimes and a paucity of rhyme or reason for there to be a superhero like Spider-Man, there. Just ask Barney, in strict confidence: that's the trouble around there. He can't get his fascist notions on, and there's otherwise not really much serious crime in Mayberry. I liked that Reggie liked the diversion of seeing Spider-Man comically wasted as an action hero. (Oh, yeah, it's confessional and symbolic, shh, don't let me think about it!) Reggie said something about that, too, but he added that thing that can't help crossing your mind:
Spider-Man and Andy resolve the simplest of 'crimes'in their Mayberry plentitude. But they will run into an organized meeting of the Ku Klux Klan! Yes. But if you know the show, you cannot let Deputy Barney Fife go to waste. Imitating his demeanor while he's poorly undercover at a white supremacist rally, he doesn't keep his Secret Agent, good-as-a superhero cool together but you have to wonder what he'll say while trying to keep undercover and fit in, who might be there to say things like "Hey Barn!" "I guess if he's here, it must be a pretty serious law enformecemnt thing!" So, you have to deal with the fact that Spider-Man is the 2nd funniest character in the story, except, he's so out of his milieu, his every effort in costume conforms to the norms of Mayberry, as he is done swinging, quickly. In fact, we might want to play some classic swinging music, 60s style, as we demonstrate our Spider-Man getting around Mayberry in his Spider Style. And he's exhausted his rooftops quickly, and so he gets aroudn a lot more like his Electric Company counterpart, frankly. Those sorts of things are the pay-off. But now, let's get to: how in heck do we set up this premise? I don't know that May's driven all the way down here just to compete, but it is SO funny, 1) to have Aunt May driving a rental out of New York City so she and Peter can have a bonding road trip before he's off to college or something. 2) imagine the male stars of the cast, gathered around the table, being asked to choose, by some horrific mishap of helpfulness, which of the two ladies made the more delicious cakes? I guess that is a very funny way of remembering that depiction of women. I do wonder what difference Aunt Bea and Aunt May might make, if we let the audience forget just enough, almost, they are up to some plan, which has some effect, no doubt, in part, effective, but also, funny, because we have plenty of guys trying to in some way play the hero role. So, if there's a natural way for them to do more than jaw about their man folk a couple of times so we can have a bit of character comedy that shows the Yankees and Southerners are so alike. I guess someone could suggest they each dress as Civil War re-enactors. I would still like whatever they do to be in character, but I'm open to the old Aunts continuing to surprise us, as with Aunt May insisting on driving down the Atlantic Coast! She doesn't think the strain would be good for Peter's nerves. But she IS eager to head down to Florida to enjoy the milder weather! I would like to complete the treatment, but I feel I've got the beginning and the climax. I wonder if Opie will discover Peter Parker's secret- Andy would wonder if he had much comparison for long- "who was that masked man, Andy?" "Well, I can't rightly say." But having Peter and May stay at the Taylor home as guests would be that weird little window, where Peter's got to slip away in his Spider-Man costume, which is a terrible idea about which he has second thoughts, much more than twice. Anyway, I see Deputy Fife not liking May's parking or something and trying to run Peter in. It could be Barney tries to make up for it by showing him the jail and trying to get him to do a little photojournalism, since Peter reveals he takes newspaper photos. It could be as simple as Peter, nosy, seeing something on a file on Andy's desk. It's not hard to imagine Andy taking a shine to Peter and especially his Aunt May, so I may even consider having Barney trying to arrest Aunt May. Yes, then he tries to make it up to the out-of-towners by giving them the inside scoop on crime fighting in a town like this. So, everyone's in character! The incidents should likely be crimes of the sort where that one guy comes and locks himself up when he needs to sleep one off, or something strange Ernest T's done. I believe the person who lays the tip about the vigilante gathering in the woods is getting a haircut down at Floyd's Barber Shop. Take your pick, Shazam! Gomer or Goober? The gas station attendant character of your choice is also curious about this secret meeting. Does he have a bad feeling it's not about something nice? Opie over hears what's said to Floyd (is this guy an FBI plant, lol?) and decides to ride his bicycle out to see what's going on. What if Spider-Man's spider-sense is tingling about the guy spreading the veiled hints about meeting out in the woods to have a serious discussion about how Justice should be done? He might even leave a spider-tracer on Opie's bike- Opie might even think it's a cool toy when he plainly sees it, and picks it up and carries it with him like any other cool thing a little boy finds? Now we need to get up with the Aunts, because why should the boys have all the fun, and Barney, who's undercover at the KKK rally, and Floyd and Goober or Gomer, who have showed up out of sheer curiosity, like many have. We are talking about a depiction of Aunt May who is roughly the same age as Aunt Bea, or maybe, in that arbitrary fashion where she was made frail in contrast to Spider-Man/ Peter Parker, is even more elderly and, if not fragile, at least, petite. All this, and Sheriff Andy Taylor- he might well be target of an attempted kidnapping in this instance, just to put him out of the way, not with thoughts of ransom, some incident where Spider-Man gets to do one of the only two or three cool-looking things he does, possibly including the 'ends-as -a-joke' sequence of Spider-Man on the few rooftops. Spider-fella and the law man know Barney might be endangering himself, and they get there about the time the cavalry should But, will we give Barney a chance at some point to have half a serious minute talking about how he doesn't care for racism because racism isn't fair. As an officer of the law, he is compelled to do what's fair. I think there's some small way to acknowledge how the local sheriff's department is the more influential type, and more locally trusted type, of law enforcement of the many levels in our country.

I don't doubt, in addition to Spider-Man webbing up some folk, Andy will have a humdinger of a line, because we know he can be fooled, but he gets wise with the best of them, and while he sometimes has a lesson to learn, himself, we can rely on Andy Taylor to do unselfish, trustworthy things for the citizens he protects. And yes, he would do his best to protect everyone fairly under the law. Sheriff Andy Taylor, for a comedy character made in Hollywood, has inspired a lot of actual conversations with people about the difference between when things are small enough for the officers to know their community, and trying to mete out fair justice when there are so many strangers. I know, it's a delirious idea, yet, it's brilliant, in some odd way! I think you could pay homage to the fish-out-of-water Spider-Man/ Peter Parker and even deal with this upsetting depiction, which still fits, with controversy, with how some episodes of Andy did have serious criminals, stopped by Andy and Barney and their friends. So, there is room in the brand for a narrative with some suspense- we're not Gunsmoke here! But there's also something potentially humorous about Spider-Man, especially in Mayberry. It could be done SO badly, but I can only promise, here and now, beginning with this put into writing, I'd dearly love to make this. I can only say, I'm open to ideas, and can't promise to include a single one! Who says this isn't the Marvel Age of Soft Sell? It's not quite a Treatment yet, I suppose, but it's an unschooled attempt at one. I just think the concept's one a surprising number of people will enjoy, and it might break us big or might never be more than a post to mark the day more than one person was even thinking about the Parkers in Mayberry (if you don't go for a Taylors-in-New York City story!) I do credit the original poster for bringing up the contrasting breakfast cakes and to Reggie for just saying it: for some reason, that white-washed if flawed community of Mayberry fires the imagination with its reality just enough for you to wonder, how did a North Carolina small town deal with the end of Segregation? You notice it's never a place of explicit segregation, either- just a very white place, to my memory. I've not mentioned any Black people moving to Mayberry in this story, either, but the idea will work out. People will think we are blowing both franchises sky-high, but as long as I am part of the story telling, I'd like to keep it faithfully evocative. Imagine, instead of just me coming up with dialogue in their voices- which I've not heard so much, recently, but come on- we find really talented actors to be our cast? Imagine if this was done as close to really right as possible- not a deliberate farce- and I honestly could see people in love with this idea and passing around its product at conventions to come. But since you can imagine the late actors in the roles, in that way, it's just too bad for any other iteration. The one you can picture with the original cast and a decent Spider-Man actor is a Platonic ideal, a piece of the moral universe in a number of people who grew up with this as family entertainment. -Lue Lyron

Comments

  1. Awesome! I enjoyed imagining this. I would like to suggest that before Aunt May Moved to New York city She may have lived in Mayberry. Imagining Spider-Man trying to swing around Mayberry is funny and then decides to hitch a ride on top of the Sheriff's car while Barney is driving. A appearance by Fred Hopkins on the hunt for Ludlow Grimes. Would add to the entertainment in my opinion. I enjoyed reading this.

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